New Discovery: The Lost Book of Noah

Power Downs and power shortages were a blessing, without them I would have never been weened off television, or have developed an appreciation for literature, or fine art. For years, during early adulthood, the war against global warming and the transition of governmental power, from the capitalists to the W.E. Party, made it difficult to purchase certain items—particularly books. My parents' well stocked library, that spawned my inadvertent love of art and literature, was long gone. Unable to purchase books for sometime, reassurance and joy spread through our neighborhood at the advertisement that a recently discovered Lost Book of Noah had been translated into English and then would be released for public purchase. A few months later it arrived in stores, complete with a new updated version of the King James Bible.
Rope partitions weaved across the parking lot of the book superstore. A thousand people were waiting in that line, and the carnival-like feeling was infectious. Usually serious and reserved, adults were giddy with anticipation for this little piece of comfort, this revelation, so long awaited for. Not since The Dead Sea Scrolls were unearthed, has there been so much discussion of, or anticipation for, a piece of literature. The Dead Sea Scrolls were discovered late in the twentieth century. The Lost Book of Noah was found similarly, preserved in a large pottery vessel. The man who discovered The Dead Sea Scrolls left them at home while he went to work—returning home early, he found his elderly mother using pieces of the scrolls to start a fire to warm her afternoon tea. What if he had not come home early that day? The scrolls were saved for prosperity by random circumstance—such is the story of human history. What other historical treasures have been lost in afternoon tea fires.


The Lost Book of Noah had been found by CarbonZero scientists working on a carbon redistribution project. As they were injecting carbon dioxide gas into a mountain shaft in the Andes, they stumbled on the find. Some of the workers helping the scientists found a large wooden box wedged in the rocks. The box looked modern in its construction, and they thought nothing of breaking it open. The Lost Book of Noah fell out; hitting the ground, the fragile pages were scattered over the mountain top. It took the scientists two days to collect them all. Like the behind-the-scenes details of an old outlawed sausage factory, the details of the discovery and collection of human history isn't always pretty—The Lost Book of Noah was discovered and saved for us all.


Faceless comments, “I lost my bible years ago; I hope they have enough,” were heard above the constant buzz of the crowded faithful waiting in line. Families, individuals, young and old were seen leaving the store with brightly colored book bags in hand; the sight of which, fueled the excitement of everyone waiting in line. Five hundred dollars for the bible, five hours wait in line, five blocks to reach home, five years since I looked in a bible. I don't remember the trip home, driven by the single purpose of rushing home and reading. This historical document was one of the corner stones of western civilization—think of all the good it had created. Grabbing some random snacks, a water, and arranging my reading chair, ottoman, and coffee table for a long enjoyable read—I began. Reading The Lost Book of Noah was joyful; it was full of new discovery. Noah was aware of the problems that human carbon emissions caused back in his day. He had preached emissions control to non-believers back then. He begged them to stop carbon-polluting. Their world was full of smoke from wood burning fires; animals and forests suffered horribly during the time of Noah. He warned them if they did not stop, they would be punished by global warming and a resulting devastating flood. If only we had found Noah's book back before the beginning of the industrial revolution, we could have avoided all the mess and pollution that capitalism caused. We now know that many of the comforts of life, we enjoyed in the past, were just an excuse for corporations to sell us more things we did not need. Had we found Noah's book earlier, we could have stayed true to the simple Carbon Minus lifestyle that Noah preached. The Lost Book of Noah introduced another set of commandments complete with stone tablets. The story went, “As the water receded, Noah knelt down and two stone tablets were revealed by the departing waters.”


I remember that the updated version of the King James Bible was a less satisfying read. I had read that book before, during a Power Down, there were some revisions included in the new release. I would speed past most of them in an attempt to confirm that the overall original meaning of the book had not been changed. Maybe I read it wrong—a misinterpretation on my part—I would speed on, trying not to acknowledge how many changes had been crafted by modern interests. The changes, deletions, and additions were unabashed and widespread, and all were significantly pertinent to solving global warming. Every reference to male and female had been deleted and, or, replaced by Carbon Plus or Carbon Minus. The timeless book of Genesis featured new additions that explained carbon’s role in the beginning of the universe. The new testament's parables had been expanded to include the evils of capitalism and environmental exploitation. Would Christ forgive them for the revisions. Go forth and multiply was mistakenly interpreted by the original scribes of the Bible. Its true meaning, was explained in the new release to be: Go forth and multiply responsibly; leave child bearing to those among you who understand the delicate environmental balance of the planet. So much of what was once considered scientific fact is later disproved by new findings, why couldn’t that happen to biblical teachings. Word, verse, and book, little else occupied my mind for the next five days, except for one completely obscure thought: Did Noah have mammoths on his Ark.


I recall that a hundred years before scientists discovered global warming, Russian scientists discovered the thawing carcass of a woolly mammoth. It lay half uncovered in ice. Ice that had entombed it for thousands of years, and was receding. After some scientific collaboration on how this tremendous find would best serve mankind, the primitive scientists decided how they would handle the find – they all agreed to eat it. Survivor accounts reported that the smell of the thawing carcass gave the group the idea to consume the ancient rotting animal flesh. Bonfire ablaze and vodka flowing, the Siberian tundra was alive with an event that had not happened in thousands of years—a mammoth barbecue.


Mesmerized by the potential discoveries still locked in the ice strewn across the northern hemisphere, I thought of it often, as I did with the similar discovery of the Iceman. Quiver of arrows, animal hide clothing, were all intact, discovered beside the mummified remains of the Iceman. He was a man who lived four thousand years ago in Europe, frozen in time by a glacier high in the Alps. The discovery of the Iceman was considered by many to be the most monumental archaeological discovery since the Rosetta Stone. Iceman had been preserved for thousands of years, then exposed by the same glacier that entombed him. Great minds studied and tested the remains. Old theories of how humans lived in those times died, and new theories and facts were unveiled—evidence, real evidence, irrefutable, the kind you could touch, see, and even smell. Archeology took a huge leap forward because of the iceman. While his discovery answered many questions, it raised one in my mind. One question for which I have never heard an explanation, one question never raised among the world's academics, one question that must be too simple-minded to be taken seriously, one question that haunts me: what was the iceman doing walking on a glacier.



Excerpt from the novel: Carbon Zero, exclusive to Google Books, by William Lavelle
http://suddenlink.net/pages/nuzvu/greatamericanhoax.html